Gay Fathers of Toronto

More about us

We are all fathers

Every man at GFT is a father, step-father, or the partner of one; and all struggle with questions about sexuality, parenting, and responsibilities. Nearly all of us also began suppressing those questions at an early age, but now those questions need answers. “To love unreservedly”, “to end the lie”, “to be true to myself”, “to live authentically” are some typical ways these men describe that need. As fathers they also want to reconcile their dreams with their responsibilities as fathers – even grandfathers. We understand that coming out — to yourself, to your wife, to your children, to family and to friends — is daunting and emotionally challenging. Through the GFT, these dads find common values, a realization they are not alone, and a support as we move forward in our lives.

CHANGE IS STRESSFUL

Gay Fathers of Toronto understands this and encourages every man to seek professional financial, legal, or emotional guidance as needed. GFT does not prescribe a one-size-fits-all resolution. Men arrive at all stages of their lives and from every corner of society: still married and not sure what to do, newly separated looking for support to help through this time, divorced and moving forward as a gay man, still in the closet and struggling with issues, dealing with isolation from estranged children, partners looking to help their love with their children, or even those with grandchildren.

Every man’s situation is unique.

At Gay Fathers of Toronto, you will find a diverse group of men currently coping with issues similar to yours, other men who have already resolved them, and some gay fathers (even grandfathers) living happily as gay men with or without partners.

It doesn’t matter where you are in your journey when you arrive, if you are a father, you belong and you will be welcome.

A BRIEF HISTORY

In 1978 a group of gay men who were also fathers banded together to establish a peer support group for themselves and other gay fathers. These men had created families the only way then possible, in a relationship with the mother of their children. Nevertheless, facing an unfriendly and judgemental world they wanted to reconcile their conflicted desires and emotions.

In 1981, the book Gay Fathers was written, apparently the first of its kind ever published. (Out of print today, it is freely available on this website). That collection of “coming out” biographies was based on the actual experiences of GFT men, including several of the men who started this support group.

Canada today is very different from 1978 in many ways. Marriage regardless of gender became legal in 2003 in Ontario and by 2005 throughout Canada. Sexual orientation is not a factor when child custody decisions are made, and there are many ways gay men can become fathers.

Yet thousands of men – for personal, religious, age, or cultural reasons – become fathers first and then later begin the process of coming out, and Gay Fathers of Toronto continues to support those men.